6. March 2025 
Can anyone get me out of this loneliness? Am i getting better or am i getting worse? I look the same as my 11 year old self. I'm still my 11 year old self. 6 years later and has anything really changed? Was i put here to become something or do i simply not matter that much. Was this the work of God testing how far i'll go or am i just like every other failure dead end suicide. I cannot get over injustice. Why am i staying. My energy is too limited. I am not even half of a functioning human. I'm not even half of a girl. I want to hold someones hand. I want someone to look at me with something other than disgust. Is this really what it's like being an alien trapped on earth. I paint my nails, it's not enough. When i replace every part of my body with procedures, will it be enough?. I am a soul trapped in a mind trapped in a body trapped in a world that simply isn't enough for me. I don't understand. But i'm not special. I am too curious to end it. I want to see this earth. I want to see this world that i cannot understand. I want to see the world that cannot accept me. The fact that it does not want me, makes me more compelled to it.
29. October 2024 
The past 4 days i've felt so depressed. I don't know what to do. Well there isn't really much to do so i guess i'll just go on with life. I'm all alone. Except for my cat, i love my kitty cat. But i wish i had someone to talk to. I don't understand people. Everything is so complex. But honestly, it all just comes down to; people are shit. Not everyone, but most. Outside is dark, it feels as if i live inside a black void. Where i'm the only existent. How will i get out of this. In a way it feels safe because theres noone or nothing to hurt me, but the loneliness is too overbearing. A girl wasn't created to feel this alone. I don't know anymore. Atleast i have myself. I think i'm still sane. Maybe I am all i need.
28. October 2024 
WOOOO It's almost Halloween!
Been feeling so lonely lately tho, wish i just had someone. Everyone that seems interested in me just ends up leaving. Do they just get bored? Maybe i'm just talking to the wrong kinda people. This one guy was begging me not to leave him, then a month later he was the one leaving me. I don't get people. 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。
It's crazy how much more enjoyable life is when youve got someone to talk to. Why do they always come during summer and then leave at the end of summer. I don't like summer anyways. Winter is the best season fr ♡( ◡‿◡ ) It comforts me but also makes me feel kinda sad. Feels like getting a hug from a depressed person. But the snow is so pretty! I'm excited for it to start snowing. I wanna go ice skating as well, but i don't have anyone to do it with. It's so fun. I used to be pretty good at it but i haven't done it in a few years so i guess i wouldn't know.
Writing is therapeutic. I was about to go insane. Didn't know if i should go on a walk, punch my boxing bag, sh, end it all, or beg that one depressed nonchalant guy to talk to me. But i guess writing is the best option. For some reason it makes me feel relaxed. It's 7am, i should go to sleep. Thanks for reading.
9. October 2024 
Hii, haven't updated my site in a while. I've been busy （；￣д￣）
Im so happy that it's October tho! I love fall! (⌒▽⌒)♡
I'm currently on vacation in Spain ヽ(ˇヘˇ)ノ I'm grateful but I hate travelling so I don't know how to feel about it.
I'll be here for 2 weeks. Brought my cat with me tho ofc so i'll be fine. I also bought a skirt but im scared to wear it... I haven't worn a skirt since i was a little kid. I'm just scared of my family. They're very judgemental and negative people...
It feels kinda freeing being in another country tho, because i don't worry about my looks or anything, like at all. Meanwhile when i'm in norway I constantly feel so insecure and like everyone is watching me. And i'm usually too scared to go in public. It's horrifying. But the way i feel when i'm in another country, makes me understand why people like going outside and being in public!
I've been working on making lots of keychains for some christmas market event thingies ill be selling at in my area! That reminds me... I need to work on the art section of my page. I dont have that much art to show tho because i end up disliking most of my drawings (＾＾＃)
Is Beetlejuice good? I've never watched it and don't know anything about it ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )
Whoever read this far i hope you have an amazing day!! ♡〜٩( ˃́▿˂̀ )۶〜♡
test :P